Loving More

(2/2) I arrived and checked in with the guard on Wednesday. Passing through the metal detector, I forgot to remove my keys and had to go through it again. It was cold by Tucson standards - in the 40’s, the 30 mph wind blowing. I limp up to the guard station because of a recently sprained ankle. The security procedure of locking us into the classroom area means I take a seat near the guard station to wait until the ladies have been fed and released to that area rather than wait in the yard, and be cold.

I see M.S. as she heads toward the chow line, she sees me and sits down. She decides to skip the meal today. We chat about her family. We talk about the progress of the four ladies in the RCIA program. This is her second time as a sponsor and many of the ladies look up to her as a mother figure. As she talks I realize what a wonderful blessing she is to them. M.S. has been in prison for several years and she has a gift for stating it like it is. She gives objective advice on how to deal with life in prison and she is a good Catholic. Her advice includes help for them on understanding God and how he needs to be a part of their life right now.

During our talk, she tells me that one of our ladies, R.M, who was released last year - has returned to prison. R.M. was so determined to stay out of prison. Why did she fail? There are so many reasons that could cause that “why.” We wonder aloud whether she had the support she needed to succeed. These ladies need to have loving support as they transition back into the real world and they need to be anchored in their faith in God, who will be their strength when it gets tough. This is disheartening for the both of us.

The guard announces the service and another arrives to escort us to the classroom area. As we make our way slowly along, a few ladies from our little church group join us – more follow behind. They tell me that R.M. is back in prison. Their faces reveal their concern for her but I see something more – compassion and love. Putting themselves in the place of R.M. they can truly feel for her. They are connected to her and her attempt to start anew. We all say a silent prayer for her. I say a prayer for each of them.

After our Communion Service, we begin this week’s lesson on Social Justice. I have asked them to read the chapter and a handout on Love. D.B. tells me that she really liked the handout. The others chime in that they did too. They understand right away that Social Justice is about loving your neighbor. We talk about the different kinds of love. We discuss how love can go wrong when it becomes obsessive or selfish. As part of the lesson, they were asked to contemplate the question, “Have I loved enough?”

D.B. says this question really made her think. She has always felt that love is the greatest of the virtues. She quotes Corinthians “if I am without love, I am nothing.” Each of the ladies reflected that they love others. They even love those who are not the most lovable people. They also realize that they need to love more.

Don’t we all need to love more?

R.S. and T.S. both feel that in the past they did not love themselves enough. They understand how hard it is to love others if you cannot love yourself. F.A. says that that the more she learns about God’s love the more she feels the grace and love within and she intends to love more as a result. I add that by feeling the love of others we also learn how to love ourselves and others. Self love is not a selfish love, it is a love of the person God created. We are special, unique and cherished by God for who we are – not for what we do.

F.A. says that “He alone is teaching me Day by Day to Love.”

I pray that is true for all of us.

Please pray for our prison community as they continue their walk with the Lord.